Day 17: Mawaige

Hello, Lovers!

I hope that word doesn't bum you out. How do you feel if I squeeze it between "meat" and "pizza?" Better? Good, because in the interest of celebrating Valentine's Day (and because I take all weekends and holidays off--see you in four days, y'all!), let's talk about L-O-V-E.

Shortly after marrying this handsome hunk of manliness back in '09, I became increasingly aware of couples. I'd walk around BYU campus and suddenly be blinded by brilliant wedding bands and the Colgate white smiles of dreamy-eyed lovers. Oooh--there's that word again. Try sandwiching it between "chocolate" and "chocolate."

What I found distressing in the dawn of my marital life was how often movies and television shows portrayed marriage twenty years down the road. The wife was too often over-boiling spaghetti. She was unhappy but plugging through her miserable life out of a sense of duty. She felt unfulfilled and like she missed out on dreams. The husband was too often blind to his wife's needs. Frequently he was either dopey, bored, overly interested in less than favorable pursuits, or inebriated.

Then one of two things would happen in these conventional story lines: 1) One partner would suddenly have an eye opening experience, dump their less than satisfying spouse, and start a new life with a more attractive, younger looking babe, or 2) Something would shake the spouses from their malaise, and suddenly they realized they had the hots for each other once again and they would slow motion kiss to celebrate.

I started to wonder if that is what happened to married couples: you start with a blissful beginning, have some years of heartbreak and havoc somewhere around the middle, and then begin to be "cute" again by getting wrinkly enough and holding hands.

But, looking at real life, I don't think that is so.

I am not saying that life is not hard. It is. That's a given whether you are married or single.

And I am not saying, "Guys, I have been married for almost FIVE years now, so I know, like, EVERYTHING."

What I am saying is I like seeing you guys in love.

I like seeing you in love at the beginning, middle, and wrinkly hand in wrinkly hand.

I like seeing you laugh at each others jokes.

I like seeing you hang out together and enjoy each other.

I like seeing you defend each other in kind and courageous ways.

I like seeing you help each other.

I like seeing your engagement and wedding pictures.

I like that I have watched couples I have admired argue and not wondered if they were going to stay married after it. Even TV couples (way to go, Eric and Tami).

I believe that you butt heads sometimes. Maybe you ARE even butt heads sometimes. But I think even true lovers make mistakes, and get mad, and forgive each other.

I love that you feel your love is special, because I think everyone should feel that way.

You have even probably grossed me out once in a while (you have for sure, parents ;-)).

So, thank you, champions of married love. Happy Valentine's day to you all.

But mostly happy Valentine's day to you, J, because our marriage is my favorite marriage of all. I love you.