I try my best not to advise you, because I don't feel like that is my porpoise, but today my sister and I were talking about some heavy business and I felt like I had so much to say on the matter. All this good advice I have been accumulating for my entire life came spewing out of me like lukewarm water. It felt great, and my sister is highly indulgent of my need for occasional advice-spewing, so I really had a cathartic session going. For brevity's sake, I won't pile it all on here, but I will share with you some of the most helpful advice I have ever been given:
When you are in a crisis, speak to yourself like you would speak to your daughter.
Time and again, when I have felt a crisis coming on, this advice has been a boon to me. It is so adaptable. You can sub whomever you want for "your daughter" and whatever you want for "crisis." The point is--when we step back and think about how we would advise someone we love when they were hurt or afraid or confused or whatever, we become less demanding and critical and more likely to apply forgiveness, kindness, and love.
Let me illustrate really quick to make sure I am coming across:
Crisis--this could be anything at all that is bothering you:
Advice applied--how would you cheer up your loved one if they came to you with this crisis?
You get it, yes? It might seem whackadoo to think of yourself as two people, but it brings perspective. It might seem silly to tell yourself thing like "I love you," but I would love for my daughter to love herself and remember her value. There are a million ways for crisis to hit, and sometimes you don't know how to make it right or even a little bit better after a big one tears up your world. I think the important thing is to apply compassion to any wound, and that is what this advice helps me to do.